“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:23).

Some of us were taught in Sunday School and/or frequently reminded by our parents to be kind. But what does it really mean to be kind? This is important, because we learn in Proverbs that “Whoever pursues righteousness and kindness will find life, righteousness, and honor” (Proverbs 21:21).

I want to make sure I am pursuing the right kind of kindness. We hear about random acts of kindness. In the past month, I was treated to a Starbucks coffee of my choice by the person in the drive thru ahead of me. That was random, and it was genuinely nice and much appreciated. But is this the “kindness” of which Scripture is speaking? Maybe….

Kindness is more than being nice. Niceness is a courtesy, but does not always require much thoughtfulness, whereas there is an element of benevolence to kindness. For example, it is nice to tell someone they look “nice” regardless of how they really look. We are being kind when we discreetly tell someone that their sweater is inside-out (thank you, by the way).

Webster defines “kind” as sympathetic or helpful, of a forbearing nature, or to give pleasure or relief. My Starbucks benefactor was, in fact, all those things. However, the “kindness” of which the Bible speaks is spirit-produced. According to an article on the Desiring God website, “It’s a supernaturally generous orientation of our hearts toward other people, even when they don’t deserve it and don’t love us in return. God himself is kind in this way. His kindness is meant to lead people to repentance which implies they haven’t yet turned to him and are still his enemies.”

We imitate God’s kindness, therefore, even when it is a challenge to do so; for example, by selflessly loving our enemies. Jesus said, “Love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil” (Luke 6:35).

This article goes on to say that “Kindness may not be pleasant. In fact, it may feel more like a blow to the head. ‘Let a righteous man strike me — it is a kindness; let him rebuke me — it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it’ (Psalm 14:15). Jesus called the Pharisees a brood of vipers. That wasn’t pleasant, but it was kind, because Jesus was exposing their sin. A kind physician cuts deep to get your cancer.” A kind teacher does not let a student off the hook when they fail to do their assignments.

You see, as image-bearers of God, we want to imitate His communicable attributes. We see in the verses below that kindness is an attribute of God. This kindness is demonstrated, it is love in action, with an element of mercy, and with the objective of leading others to Christ.

• “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?” (Romans 2:4).

• “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.” (Ephesians 2:4-7).

• “But when the kindness of God our Savior and His love for mankind appeared, He saved us, not on the basis of deeds which we have done in righteousness, but according to His mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewing by the Holy Spirit, whom He poured out upon us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior…” (Titus 3:4-6).

The easiest way to discern and demonstrate an act of kindness is to thoughtfully consider each of our interactions with others, taking the long view of what is best for them even when it means sacrifice on our part—perhaps a sacrifice of our pride, our resources, our time. It means withholding a harsh or self-serving comment, and instead thinking through how to say something that will encourage or build one up. Our kindness reflects the heart of our Father and is the most effective way to communicate our faith and testimony. “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:23).

In Christ,

Judy