I intend for this title to be a play on words. According to a survey conducted by George Barna, the most helpful book written after the Bible is Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. The first words of the first chapter read, “It’s not about you.” Honestly, this is one of those messages I recite to myself quite frequently when I am in one of my selfish, prideful moods.

However, sometimes it is about me.  Here’s what I mean. I was sitting in church last week preparing to take communion. The pastor was speaking on, among other things, the need for conviction and confession. As he drilled down into each topic, I was trying to pray for conviction and trying to confess, but my mind kept going to other people in my life. Maybe you have thought this: “I wish so and so could hear this message.” In other words, they are who really need to hear this. Then I would tell myself to stop it, that I needed to pray for conviction in my own life and not worry about anyone else. That is between them and God, and this is between me and God. This monologue was repeated in my mind for the entire sermon. My mind wanted to remember someone else’s sin, someone else’s need for conviction, someone else’s need to confess. I would try to put that out of my mind so that could focus on my need for cleansing. I tried to pray as David prayed in Psalm 51:

¹ Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love;
according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions.
² Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin.

³ For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me.
⁴ Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight; so you are right in your verdict and justified when you judge.
⁵ Surely I was sinful at birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me.

⁶ Yet you desired faithfulness even in the womb; you taught me wisdom in that secret place.

⁷ Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.
⁸ Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones you have crushed rejoice.
⁹ Hide your face from my sins and blot out all my iniquity.

¹⁰ Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
¹¹ Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.
¹² Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

It’s the same way with forgiveness. We want to be forgiven. We expect to be forgiven. But do we always truly forgive? When the offense continues to replay in our minds, maybe we haven’t totally forgiven. When we say we have forgiven, but we still think ill thoughts about that person, have we truly forgiven? The Bible is clear on this point.  In fact, I think that it is very intentional that the passage on dealing with sin in the church (Matthew 18:15-20) is sandwiched between two other passages.  Matthew 18:12-14 reads:  “What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off?  And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.

Jesus made it personal. He made it about you, and me.

And then in Matthew 18:21, he tells the parable of the unmerciful servant: Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.”

Jesus went on to elaborate by telling about the master who forgave the debts of servant #1 who owed him. But then servant #1 did not likewise forgive the debts of a fellow servant #2 who owed him. Instead, servant #1 had servant #2 thrown in prison. When the master found out, he had his servant #1 tortured until servant #1 did repay his debts. Jesus explained in verses 32-35, “Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart.”

Jesus says we must forgive to infinity, as my granddaughter likes to say. He uses similar language in the Lord’s Prayer, “And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors” (Matthew 6:12).  

Jesus made it personal, and he made it mandatory. Forgiveness is clearly taught; when there is a problem between believers (fellow servants), then we (me and you) must take the initiative to forgive and reconcile. If you and I can’t forgive those who sin against us, how can we expect Jesus to forgive you and me? It is about us, sometimes. For more insight from Rick Warren, click here.

This “me” work is hard work. Satan wants to distract us from this work at hand by taking the pressure off us and making us worry about someone else’s guilt and sin. I pray that you and I can be diligent to pray for conviction and to confess our sins daily. This is where relationships begin, when we come clean before God. And know that while it may be difficult for us to confess and to forgive on our own, nothing is impossible with God. Pray for intervention from the Holy Spirit. This is God’s will, so He will surely answer our prayers if you and I sincerely pray.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.

In Christ,

Judy