“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 (NIV)

Have you ever lived or worked with someone around whom you had to tiptoe—literally and figuratively? You had to watch every word to be sure you didn’t set them off? There was no grace for a slip up. That’s a miserable existence. I know at times I have been guilty of “wearing my feelings on my sleeve,” so even though my reaction might have been sulking rather than anger, anger usually eventually resulted. I’m not proud of that, and I believe I have matured so that I’m not so sensitive.

Interactions between human beings are so complex. They are based on our histories, our perceptions, our biases and prejudices. We learn to be intuitive and to try to understand each other based on all sorts of cues, which is admirable. But many times we also read into these interactions messages that were never intended, especially when we have been building up that history, or record, of times that we were hurt or wronged.

We should not provoke others to anger, and we should not be easily provoked. We should seek to really understand and we should assume best intentions. After all, isn’t that how we want to be treated? The Golden Rule is really about how we treat each other in love.

“Do not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap of fools.” Ecclesiastes 7:9 (NIV)

In Christ,

Judy

“⁴Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.⁵It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking….” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5.

I think there is a reason that these two attributes of what love is not are placed together: love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking. Here’s what I mean. Have you ever been in a prayer meeting when you hear something like this: “We need to put Brother Joe on the prayer list. I was at his house bringing some food over because you know he got fired and they don’t have any money coming in now.”

What is the intended message? Is it that I want you to know how good I am for bringing food over? Is it that I want you to know Joe must have done something bad at work? It’s really questionable if the intended message was really about needing to display some compassion and help for Joe.

This is similar to the “bless her heart” way that we talk about others, seemingly in a way that makes us look holy but during which we manage to get in some kind of put-down. “Bless her heart, she has never been able to manage those kids.” Sorry, but I think we all see through that one.

The cure is to be sure that our motivations are pure whenever we are talking about anyone. It follows what we talked about in the Chaplain’s Corner last week about boasting and pride. As an attribute of love and therefore a fruit of the spirit, being others-centered requires the ongoing help of the Holy Spirit. We are most like Jesus when our motivation is others-centered rather than self-centered.

In Christ,

Judy

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”  1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV)

Here we are, the day before Valentine’s Day, writing about love.

So what does “not boasting” or “not being proud” have to do with love? Everything. Boasting and being proud demonstrate love of self, while Valentine’s Day celebrates romantic love for another. However, romantic love is not what this passage in 1 Corinthians is about. It is about agape love, which is “a love that loves without demanding or expecting repayment. It gives because it loves; it does not love in order to receive. It has much to do with self-denial for the sake of another. Agape love is a spiritual love that we cannot have unless we have the Holy Spirit. Agape love is the supreme fruit of the Holy Spirit. Agape love is the love that Jesus displayed toward each of us.”*

If we truly love others, then we are constantly putting them first rather than trying to exalt ourselves through boasting. If we truly love God, then like Paul, we only have one thing to boast about and that is the cross of Christ through which we have been saved (Galatians 6:14). If we truly love God, then we put away our idols of the heart, including pride in our own accomplishments, and instead give all the glory to Him.

This is what puts the “radical” in our core value of Radical Hospitality, or any radical demonstration of God’s love for that matter. Let’s go “all out” and be radical in our love, consciously exalting God, each other, and all those we serve.

In Christ,

Judy

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy…” 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV).

In 1 Corinthians 13, after explaining that love is patient and kind, the Apostle Paul then goes on to list eight qualities that love is not. The first “anti-quality” of love is envy. Love does not envy.

We have probably all experienced envy. The range of the experience of envy is broad, from a light-hearted comment about wishing we had a new car like Tom’s, to a very bitter sense of envy that would cause us to allow harm to someone, such as the example in Genesis when Joseph’s brothers allowed him to be taken to Egypt as a slave because of their envy over his relationship with their father.

I know I used to experience envy very frequently, and still do sometimes if I am honest. I see someone with something I would like to have, or I see someone who has achieved something that I wish I could have achieved, and I wish it could be me. And thin people—well, I just don’t want to go there….

Besides the fact that envy is a waste of mental energy, makes us feel sorry for ourselves, and can drive us to some unhealthy behaviors, it is seen here as the opposite of love. Love does not envy. How can that be?

Envy is an unloving behavior because it is wishing for something that we don’t have, and for the most part implies that we wish that the other person did not have it. Even if we are not wishing ill of another person, it demonstrates discontent with our status which goes against the sovereignty of God. After all, envy is what put Jesus on the cross (Matthew 27:18).

Maybe it’s easier to see how unloving envy is if we look at the opposite of envy. What if we were genuinely happy with what others have or have achieved? Love means wanting the best for someone. What if we were content with what God has intended for our life. Loving God means realizing in his sovereignty that His plan is best. The Apostle Paul addressed this in Philippians 4:11-13 (NIV) –

“¹¹ I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. ¹² I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³ I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

What is the antidote for envy? Thankfulness. What should we do when the feeling of envy arises within us? We should thank God for what we have and for His blessings and providence, and then ask Him to give us a desire to love others as we love ourselves.

In Christ,

Judy