“Love is patient, love is kind”  1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV).

Last week we talked about how the action of patience or longsuffering demonstrates love; patience is not passively waiting. Likewise, demonstrating kindness is love in action. Like patience and love, kindness is also listed as an attribute of the fruit of the spirit. That means that it can only be properly exercised through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Paul tells us that God, in his infinite love and mercy, will raise us up to sit with Jesus in the heavenly places “so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 2:7. And Paul instructs the Ephesian church to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

I love how the Bible often instructs us to replace one behavior with another; this is really the best recipe for making long-lasting change. It’s just hard to stop behaving a certain way without knowing what to do in its place. For example, in 2 Timothy 2:24, we are told that “…the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone.” So the instruction is to bestow blessings and generosity and graciousness, even when you feel you want to start or continue an argument over something. For example, we can be kind even when we are giving directions. Rather than saying “that’s not right” or “you can’t do that,” instead say “let me show you” or “here’s the way we do this here.” That comes across helpful or kind rather than argumentative or hostile. I must also note that our nonverbal communication is equally important in the showing of either kindness or rudeness.

In reading these passages, I then begin to equate kindness with grace, tenderness, forgiveness, and not being quarrelsome. In many ways, kindness can be thought of as courtesy, civility, and graciousness. Some adjectives used to describe “kind” behaviors according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary are sympathetic, helpful, forbearing, gentle, giving pleasure or relief, affectionate, and loving. Kindness is not just saying flattering things. Kindness is genuinely considering the other person’s well-being and taking action accordingly.

Two of the Mission’s Core Values are directly aligned with kindness: Radical Hospitality and Culture of Honor.  Four of the tenets of the Mission’s Code of Conduct also include elements of kindness: Communication, Confidentiality, Compassion, and Servanthood.

When we are kind to one another, we are displaying Christ-like love. We must be empowered, because in truth, we don’t always feel like being kind. Sometimes we are tired, in a hurry, or preoccupied. It’s really difficult to be kind to someone who has not been kind to us. But Jesus doesn’t give us any excuses for failure to be kind. In fact, he tells us to turn the other cheek, and go the extra mile (Matt 5:38-42).

Hopefully, we all have at least one role model we would think of when we think of these attributes. My mother was extolled for her kindness. She always had a smile and expressed concern for others. She was always gracious in her conversation, and she was genuine. It not only gives me pleasure to hear others praise her in this way, it also inspires me. I pray that you and I will be that role model for others.

In Christ,

Judy