“Love is patient, love is kind” 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV).

Last week we began a series of devotions about love from 1 Corinthians 13. The scriptures tell us on more than one occasion that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love each other. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul tells us that the greatest of the spiritual gifts is love. But what is love really? How do we really love God and each other in the way that most emulates God’s love for us?

Starting in 1 Corinthians 13:4, Paul begins to enumerate the ways that we demonstrate love, starting with patience.  Another translation for patience is longsuffering.  Why did Paul have to put this characteristic first? Maybe so that we would be patient enough to suffer through all the other descriptions of love? I don’t know. I do know, though, that this one is challenging.

What are some of the situations that come to mind when you think of being patient?

1. Waiting in line; waiting in traffic
2. Waiting for someone to answer your call (as in, your estimated wait time is 52 minutes).
3. Waiting for a raise or promotion; waiting for results from the doctor.
4. Listening to someone who is longwinded, especially when the subject is not close to your heart, or worse, when you have heard it all before.
5. Letting a child or someone you are teaching do whatever the thing is themselves, like work a math problem or tie their shoes, etc.
6. Enduring a long illness, either yours or someone you care about.
7. Enduring a season of misfortune, when it seems that nothing is going your way.
8. Enduring a time of imprisonment.
9. Enduring a time when you believe you have been treated unfairly.
10. Enduring a time when others should be taking action and it appears that they are not.

What do we tend to do when we are waiting?

1. Worry?
2. Complain?
3. Express displeasure, sarcasm, or rage?
4. Try to take matters into our own hands?
5. Entertain feelings of hopelessness and despair?
6. Give up?

What does any of this have to do with love? Well, obviously none of these reactions have anything to do with love. These reactions reflect self-centeredness at best and lack of trust in God at worst. They are not a testimony of faith in Christ and putting God first, and they harm rather than help those around us.

These situations are typically visible to others, so our reactions may also be visible to others. The situations outlined above, and those like them, are actually opportunities to demonstrate our love of Christ, our trust in His infinite mercies. If we love others more than ourselves, we will actively care more about the impact we are having on those around us than on what the situation is doing to us, so we will use the experience to testify to the all-encompassing love of God. That is, we change our perspective away from our own needs and selfish desires, and we actively and productively and lovingly wait.

Here’s a scenario: You stopped at the grocery store on your way home from a long day at work. You are tired, and you have people at home waiting on you for dinner which you have to cook when you get home. There are only two checkout lines and both are very long.

1. Reaction #1: You are mad because why didn’t some other responsible adult in your house go the store instead of you, so you tell everyone around you. You complain about the store, the service, your family. You tell everyone how tired you are. Or maybe you don’t verbalize anything, but you just stand there and feel sorry for yourself or dwell on how bad your feet hurt. When you finally get to the cashier, you let them have it (especially when they stop to chat with the bagger about how long it’s been since their last break when they should be ringing up your groceries (no, this has never happened to me). When you get home, you also tell everyone in your family about your horrible experience.

Result: You don’t feel any better. No one around you feels any better. That hour you just spent at the grocery shopping and in line is a wasted hour of your life. No one is any better off.

 Reaction #2: While standing in line, you thank God that you have money to buy groceries and a place nearby to shop and that they had what you are looking for. You say a prayer for the grocery employees. You look around at the others standing in line. Perhaps someone behind you looks more tired than you, so you swap places with them. You say a silent prayer for those around you for whatever they may be dealing with, because why else would anyone be in line at this time of day who didn’t have to. You strike up a conversation with those around you, trying to ease the time, make a friend, show concern or compassion. You greet the cashier and bagger with a smile and thank them for their help. When you get home, express joy at seeing everyone and ask about their day.

Result: You probably feel better than you would have. You have made a positive impact and maybe even given hope and encouragement to someone. You have lifted the spirits of the staff.

Being actively patient didn’t take any more time or any more energy, but the people around you have benefited from your presence and God has been glorified by your prayers. This is selfless love of others.

One more thing: in the list of situations above, some are more life-altering than others. Waiting in line for groceries is trivial compared to enduring an illness and/or long recovery period. However, every time of waiting is practice. We use the lesser situations to practice and prepare for the greater situations in life. Practice patience.

The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Timothy 1:13, 16: “Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief….But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.”

In Christ,

Judy