“Love is patient, love is kind”  1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV).

Last week we talked about how the action of patience or longsuffering demonstrates love; patience is not passively waiting. Likewise, demonstrating kindness is love in action. Like patience and love, kindness is also listed as an attribute of the fruit of the spirit. That means that it can only be properly exercised through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Paul tells us that God, in his infinite love and mercy, will raise us up to sit with Jesus in the heavenly places “so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus” Ephesians 2:7. And Paul instructs the Ephesian church to “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).

I love how the Bible often instructs us to replace one behavior with another; this is really the best recipe for making long-lasting change. It’s just hard to stop behaving a certain way without knowing what to do in its place. For example, in 2 Timothy 2:24, we are told that “…the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone.” So the instruction is to bestow blessings and generosity and graciousness, even when you feel you want to start or continue an argument over something. For example, we can be kind even when we are giving directions. Rather than saying “that’s not right” or “you can’t do that,” instead say “let me show you” or “here’s the way we do this here.” That comes across helpful or kind rather than argumentative or hostile. I must also note that our nonverbal communication is equally important in the showing of either kindness or rudeness.

In reading these passages, I then begin to equate kindness with grace, tenderness, forgiveness, and not being quarrelsome. In many ways, kindness can be thought of as courtesy, civility, and graciousness. Some adjectives used to describe “kind” behaviors according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary are sympathetic, helpful, forbearing, gentle, giving pleasure or relief, affectionate, and loving. Kindness is not just saying flattering things. Kindness is genuinely considering the other person’s well-being and taking action accordingly.

Two of the Mission’s Core Values are directly aligned with kindness: Radical Hospitality and Culture of Honor.  Four of the tenets of the Mission’s Code of Conduct also include elements of kindness: Communication, Confidentiality, Compassion, and Servanthood.

When we are kind to one another, we are displaying Christ-like love. We must be empowered, because in truth, we don’t always feel like being kind. Sometimes we are tired, in a hurry, or preoccupied. It’s really difficult to be kind to someone who has not been kind to us. But Jesus doesn’t give us any excuses for failure to be kind. In fact, he tells us to turn the other cheek, and go the extra mile (Matt 5:38-42).

Hopefully, we all have at least one role model we would think of when we think of these attributes. My mother was extolled for her kindness. She always had a smile and expressed concern for others. She was always gracious in her conversation, and she was genuine. It not only gives me pleasure to hear others praise her in this way, it also inspires me. I pray that you and I will be that role model for others.

In Christ,

Judy

“Love is patient, love is kind” 1 Corinthians 13:4 (NIV).

Last week we began a series of devotions about love from 1 Corinthians 13. The scriptures tell us on more than one occasion that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love each other. In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul tells us that the greatest of the spiritual gifts is love. But what is love really? How do we really love God and each other in the way that most emulates God’s love for us?

Starting in 1 Corinthians 13:4, Paul begins to enumerate the ways that we demonstrate love, starting with patience.  Another translation for patience is longsuffering.  Why did Paul have to put this characteristic first? Maybe so that we would be patient enough to suffer through all the other descriptions of love? I don’t know. I do know, though, that this one is challenging.

What are some of the situations that come to mind when you think of being patient?

1. Waiting in line; waiting in traffic
2. Waiting for someone to answer your call (as in, your estimated wait time is 52 minutes).
3. Waiting for a raise or promotion; waiting for results from the doctor.
4. Listening to someone who is longwinded, especially when the subject is not close to your heart, or worse, when you have heard it all before.
5. Letting a child or someone you are teaching do whatever the thing is themselves, like work a math problem or tie their shoes, etc.
6. Enduring a long illness, either yours or someone you care about.
7. Enduring a season of misfortune, when it seems that nothing is going your way.
8. Enduring a time of imprisonment.
9. Enduring a time when you believe you have been treated unfairly.
10. Enduring a time when others should be taking action and it appears that they are not.

What do we tend to do when we are waiting?

1. Worry?
2. Complain?
3. Express displeasure, sarcasm, or rage?
4. Try to take matters into our own hands?
5. Entertain feelings of hopelessness and despair?
6. Give up?

What does any of this have to do with love? Well, obviously none of these reactions have anything to do with love. These reactions reflect self-centeredness at best and lack of trust in God at worst. They are not a testimony of faith in Christ and putting God first, and they harm rather than help those around us.

These situations are typically visible to others, so our reactions may also be visible to others. The situations outlined above, and those like them, are actually opportunities to demonstrate our love of Christ, our trust in His infinite mercies. If we love others more than ourselves, we will actively care more about the impact we are having on those around us than on what the situation is doing to us, so we will use the experience to testify to the all-encompassing love of God. That is, we change our perspective away from our own needs and selfish desires, and we actively and productively and lovingly wait.

Here’s a scenario: You stopped at the grocery store on your way home from a long day at work. You are tired, and you have people at home waiting on you for dinner which you have to cook when you get home. There are only two checkout lines and both are very long.

1. Reaction #1: You are mad because why didn’t some other responsible adult in your house go the store instead of you, so you tell everyone around you. You complain about the store, the service, your family. You tell everyone how tired you are. Or maybe you don’t verbalize anything, but you just stand there and feel sorry for yourself or dwell on how bad your feet hurt. When you finally get to the cashier, you let them have it (especially when they stop to chat with the bagger about how long it’s been since their last break when they should be ringing up your groceries (no, this has never happened to me). When you get home, you also tell everyone in your family about your horrible experience.

Result: You don’t feel any better. No one around you feels any better. That hour you just spent at the grocery shopping and in line is a wasted hour of your life. No one is any better off.

 Reaction #2: While standing in line, you thank God that you have money to buy groceries and a place nearby to shop and that they had what you are looking for. You say a prayer for the grocery employees. You look around at the others standing in line. Perhaps someone behind you looks more tired than you, so you swap places with them. You say a silent prayer for those around you for whatever they may be dealing with, because why else would anyone be in line at this time of day who didn’t have to. You strike up a conversation with those around you, trying to ease the time, make a friend, show concern or compassion. You greet the cashier and bagger with a smile and thank them for their help. When you get home, express joy at seeing everyone and ask about their day.

Result: You probably feel better than you would have. You have made a positive impact and maybe even given hope and encouragement to someone. You have lifted the spirits of the staff.

Being actively patient didn’t take any more time or any more energy, but the people around you have benefited from your presence and God has been glorified by your prayers. This is selfless love of others.

One more thing: in the list of situations above, some are more life-altering than others. Waiting in line for groceries is trivial compared to enduring an illness and/or long recovery period. However, every time of waiting is practice. We use the lesser situations to practice and prepare for the greater situations in life. Practice patience.

The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Timothy 1:13, 16: “Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief….But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.”

In Christ,

Judy

^“So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love” (1 Corinthians 13:13 (ESV).

When Jesus says that the greatest commandment is to love God and love others, that gets my attention. When the apostle Paul says that of faith, hope, and love, the greatest of these is love, that gets my attention. The thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians is called the “love chapter.”  It was my Grandma’s favorite passage so I have read it for years. It is even more powerful when you realize the context. Paul has just written a powerful explanation of the spiritual gifts in the previous chapter, and he talks about how we are the body of Christ. This is all very significant teaching to a believer, but then he goes on to say in verse 1 of Chapter 13, “And now, I will show you THE MOST EXCELLENT WAY” and he begins to tell us of the importance of LOVE.

There’s a saying attributed to Teddy Roosevelt, “Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” I think this is what Paul is trying to tell us. Every single position here at Nashville Rescue Mission includes the role of influencing someone—guests, program participants, staff, peers, volunteers, managers. Sometimes you can influence through your position; however, that is never long-lasting. We may be able to influence through our knowledge, but that can easily be overturned by someone else with more or different knowledge.  What Teddy and the Apostle Paul are telling us is that when we first love those whom we serve or work alongside or live with, then everything else good is possible. God is love, and God is good, so when we love, we are most like God and have the ability to be and do the most good.

The English language does not do justice to the word “love.” Or maybe it’s just our American culture. We love everything. We love flowers, chocolate, and a good book (or at least I do). We love the Titans and the Predators (at least when they win). However, you can see that this term implies more of a feeling.  More accurately, love is an action, not a feeling.  The Greek language has at least four words for “love:” Eros (sexual love), philia (brotherly love and affection), storge (family love), and agape love. Agape love is the type of love that is described in 1 Corinthians, and is sometimes translated “charity.” It is a “self-giving love that loves without demanding or expecting repayment. It is a love so great that it can be given to the unlovable or unappealing. It gives because it loves; it does not love in order to receive. It has much to do with self-denial for the sake of another.” It’s easy to love chocolate; it’s not so easy to show agape love. Agape love is a spiritual love that we cannot have unless we have the Holy Spirit. Agape love is the supreme fruit of the Holy Spirit. Agape love is the love that Jesus displayed toward each of us.*

One big difference between gifts (plural) of the spirit and fruit (singular) of the spirit is this:

1. Every believer has at least one of the gifts of the spirit (1 Corinthians 12:7-11).
2. All believers possess all the dimensions of the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).

Therefore, as a believer, you possess this gift of agape love.  However, as believers, we must intentionally practice this gift and hone it as a skill in order for it to be visible in us by others. I will be using the next few Chaplain’s Corners to write more about this, and I encourage all of us to work hard to manifest agape, or charitable love toward others.

*Words in quotes from this reference: https://www.blueletterbible.org/Comm/guzik_david/StudyGuide2017-1Cr/1Cr-13.cfm

In Christ,

Judy